Now, this is a story, all about how my life got flipped turned upside down. And I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell you how I…ended up in the projects of Nashville. Okay, that didn’t really work out as well as Fresh Prince of Bel Air, but fuck it. I’m not a real rapper. But I did end up in the projects a couple of nights ago, and was going to tell y’all about it. Get excited, because it’s not really that exciting of a story.
So I’ve been in a major funk mood for a week or so, and my lovely friends have been helping me get out of it, even without knowing, just by talking and getting me out of the apartment (womp womp womp). I also decided I need to keep my blah moods off of Facebook, because my moods are good at making other people worry and doesn’t help cheer them up, and I’d rather cheer people up than make them worry…so I’ll keep my moods to myself now. And post stuff like this instead:
Now the day started with me going with a friend to a super cute little vintage art sale type thing. It’s just a bunch of booths set up with local artist who sale their stuff. It’s awesome. One of our friends had a booth there, so we went for her and to shop. But, best of all, there was a booth set up selling beer and wine. Score. That’s where I went, and threw down $8 for a big cup of wine. We walked around, I chugged it and soon became parched and needed another. Boom. 8 more bucks for a big cup of wine. By now I had become friendly with the two alcohol booth workers. So we went back to our friends booth, and I was like “I’m going to go throw my cup away”, and the trashcan was conveniently located next to…the booze booth. So I walked up and they were like “You want more?” And I was like, “yeah, nahhh…” but then asked how much a bottle would be. I have no shame. And when they told me $10, I was like “BRB!” and went over to my friends to borrow some cash. And without them knowing, they contributed to my alcoholism. Because they were all kinda “wtf’ish” when I walked back over with a bottle of wine. That’s when I knew my afternoon would be better than any afternoon last week. Because I, Ames, went to an art fair and walked out with a bottle of wine and super badass pillow made by my friend Lisa.
(Y’all should seriously check out her stuff…if you have a Facebook Like her page https://www.facebook.com/#!/LisaMarieInvitationsandDesign?fref=ts and if you don’t have a Facebook, or do, whatever, then here’s her ETSY http://www.etsy.com/shop/LisaMarieInvitations She has the cutest stuff and is going to start selling the pillows soon. I don’t know if she wants a business plug from a blog talking about going to the projects, but…oh well.)
Okay, back to my story. So I was also invited out to Mercy Lounge to listen to a band Friday night and I was like, “Alright I’ll go”. But later that night when I got home, the wire on my bra broke and was poking my tit and I was like, “yeah, I’m not going to go…I’m going to stay home and drink wine and watch tv and be braless all night”. So my friend Suzy stopped by and she said she was invited to some party and asked if I wanted to go. Now, I really didn’t want to, but I had drunk 1.5 bottles of wine and a glass of wine from my boxed wine selection and a shot of Fireball. I’m classy as fuuuuck. So I decided to go. So we headed to the party and quickly realized that we weren’t in our type of neighborhood, and that’s when Suzy said we were in the projects. And yes, we definitely were.
We weren’t really sure about going to it after that, because two white girls from Cheatham County don’t really fit in with that type of place. But we’re pretty much down for anything. So we kept heading that way, but first stopped by Suzy’s work to handle some business in the restroom. Because let’s face it, the last place you want to sit your ass is on a toilet in the ‘hood. And normally we’ll pop a squat outside, but I have a feeling that’s even more dangerous than the toilet seat. So we did our business and started heading to the “house party”. Woop Woop, raise the roof. But on our way there, she called one of her friends who had invited us, and he was like “yeah, we called a cab…we’re not staying here!” and we were right down the street, and heading that way, so we said we would pick them up. And as we pulled closer, 11ish at night, there stood the two white people waiting to jump into our car. And they did. And we left and went to her friend Pauls house. Who is now my Facebook friend, so we’re basically BFF’s now.
So we hung out at his place for a little bit, where I consumed more beer and another big shot of Fireball. And around 12ish we decided to roll out of there and head home. But we both decided it would be mega hilarious to stop by that party, and take a pic of us there and send it to him. Like, LOL funny. So we did. Now, I was completely drunk. I was at the 2ish bottles of wine, three shots of Fireball and a six-pack of beer…because when I get drunk, I also like to feel out of control. So less drunk Suzy should’ve been like “eh, bad idea for two white girls to drive back into the projects to take a picture at a party.” But, she’s like me and we don’t understand the concept of dangerous because we don’t watch the news.
We got back to the party and was walking to the house from our car and heard “fire crackers”…but we’re quite certain that it was more of a gun cracker than a fire cracker, but whatevs’. One of Suzy’s other friends that had invited her to the party earlier, had decided to stay, so luckily we had him there too. So we walked into the party like we were personally invited to it, and here’s where it gets interesting…
Rap battle, whaaaat?! Yes, we walked right into a freestyle rap battle. And if you know me, then you know that I am 100% obsessed with this kind of stuff. Like, 8 Mile is one of my fav movies and is the reason that I want to move to Detroit and become a rapper like Eminem. Refer back to this if you weren’t aware of that passion…
So needless to say, once we realized shit was getting real in there, we stayed for a while. It was awesome, awesome. And we were invited to some rap thing they’re doing at some club in a couple weeks. Annnd I literally had the best night ever. I lost my Cheatham County white girl status that night, and I couldn’t be happier. And that, angel faces, is how I ended up in the projects of Nashville.